02 February 2022

Arsenal, Arteta, and the Wasted Window

What can I say? I like my alliteration and my Harry Potter-ish titles. Actually, I detest Harry Potter, but bear with me. Apparently, Arteta wasted this window faster than a lottery winner wastes their winnings. The only inescapable conclusion is that this season will go down the drain like molten toothpaste, Arteta is a fraud, a discount, budget-bin version of Fraudiola, and Arsenal will be not only relegated but liquidated, Such are the sound, level-headed, and not-at-all hyperbolic reactions of the sages and pundits on Twitter and elsewhere. Clearly, after all, the only path to success is to panic-buy anyone available because motion, as it's irrevocably been established time and time and time again, is the same as action. If only someone more-famous and less-wordy than I had said something similar...

25 January 2022

RIvals' Roundup, Matchday #24: Well, at least Spurs lost.

Hey, so first things first: I'm done with the cutesy "what matchday is it" nonsense. It's not going to level out any time soon, and, more to the point, it puts a lot of pressure on yours truly to do the maths, and you just can't count on me for that [obligatory and desultory "ha"]. It's been one of those months, hasn't it? The weekend felt like being given a spoonful of castor oil and being told to lay on the couch, what with our result and various others not really going our way. Still, Spurs lost, so I almost feel like coining a new portmanteau (look it up, unwashed heathens) along the lines of spursenfreude, but that might mean something unsavory in the original German, so I'll demur for the time being. On we go, then. 

21 January 2022

Arsenal 0-2 Liverpool: Player Ratings & MOTM Results

Well, we pulled no punches on the squad, much as the lads did pull theirs against Liverpool. Only Gabriel Martinelli seemed to make any kind of positive impression, garnering him MOTM honours. Between the disappointment of the loss itself and the relatively low opinion many have of the League Cup, we had only 378 votes for this poll. There's something about cup ties this season that brings out the worst in us. This may match our poor performance against Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup (which ends up being worse by virtue of who we lost two). Let's hope we've gotten that kind of play out of our system, now that we're out of both cups and hope also that this is the kind of gut-punch that inspires a gut check and renewed determination in the Prem...

r/Gunners - [RESULTS] Post Match Ratings | Arsenal 0 - 2 Liverpool

20 January 2022

Arsenal 0-2 Liverpool: Vote for Player Ratings & MOTM!

A disappointing second-leg loss to Liverpool leaves us without any realistic chance at silverware this season, as Liverpool advance to face Chelsea in the League Cup final. Dioga Jota scuffed fortunately past Ramsdale to open the scoring, and, from there, we couldn't really find a way back, fluffing several chances. Jota then added a more-deserved second goal to confirm the result. It's a disappointing outcome, especially after a particularly brave performance in the first leg. In a nifty if difficult bit of symmetry, we were once again reduced to ten men against a superior oppponent as Thomas Partey saw a second yellow for a silly challenge in the waning minutes. Ah, well. For as nice as it might have been to advance to the final, defeating Chelsea was hardly a foregone conclusion, and the League Cup hardly blesses a club with any fringe benefits. More's the pity. Well, let's lick our wounds and re-double our focus on the Prem. For now, get in to the poll and rate the lads!

19 January 2022

Rivals' Roundup, Matchday 23? A New Hope Awakens or is Dawning or...

Some clubs have played as few as 17 matches. Others, 23. Twixt the two are, well, predictably, clubs that have played—wait for it—18, 19, 20, 21, or 22 matches. And that, dear readers, is why your correspondent gets paid the big bucks. Hard-hitting, no holds barred investigative journalism. I highly doubt that you'll find this kind of fact-finding at El Metro, The Sun, or any number of birdcage-liner sites. At any rate, let's get down to the proverbial brass tacks. There's all sorts of goings-on to sort through.