Arsenal, Arteta, and the Wasted Window

What can I say? I like my alliteration and my Harry Potter-ish titles. Actually, I detest Harry Potter, but bear with me. Apparently, Arteta wasted this window faster than a lottery winner wastes their winnings. The only inescapable conclusion is that this season will go down the drain like molten toothpaste, Arteta is a fraud, a discount, budget-bin version of Fraudiola, and Arsenal will be not only relegated but liquidated, Such are the sound, level-headed, and not-at-all hyperbolic reactions of the sages and pundits on Twitter and elsewhere. Clearly, after all, the only path to success is to panic-buy anyone available because motion, as it's irrevocably been established time and time and time again, is the same as action. If only someone more-famous and less-wordy than I had said something similar...

 

Man U's Mkhi, Arsenal's Alexis—who's made the better deal?

It's been roughly six weeks now since Henrikh Mkhitarayan and Alexis Sánchez swapped squads. That's time enough, isn't it, to assess the early returns? Risky rhetorical questions rarely require actual responses, so we're plowing ahead regardless. At first blush, the notion that Arsenal would again sell a talismanic goal-scorer to its own rival would seem ludicrous. Having already sold van Persie to Man U, how could we at Arsenal suffer seeing such a scorer succeed elsewhere? This time though, however, we at least extracted a player in return, one who might just make us all forget the sexiness that was Sánchez. Henrikh Mkhitaryan has, in the short term at least, more than picked up the slack that Alexis left.

An Ox in the transfer-shoppe: why Arsenal should quit Oxin' around...

Editor's Note: This week's guest-post comes from Emory Stern, who first took notice of Arsenal because of the Dutch-duo of Overmars and Bergkamp. He comes to us as an aficionado of beautiful, attacking football—in other words, he is a Gooner. In this post, he weighs in on the speculation regarding Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain's future with the club. Have at it, Emory!

No team has the type of players who divide (and frustrate) fan and pundit opinion quite like Arsenal players.  One of the players who fits this bill perfectly is Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. The Ox was signed in 2011 and was full of promise. Initially deployed as a winger who can play either side, Arsène Wenger revealed that he saw Ox's future in the centre of the midfield and viewed him as a “Steven Gerrard” type of centre midfielder.  Fast forward to the conclusion of the 2017 season.  Ox was deployed in the FA Cup final victory versus Chelsea as the left wing back in our new-look, three centre-back system.  As a right footed player, he obviously did not look the natural fit there; however, he did the job and did it quite well, well enough to tantalise us with his future prospects.

A £30m Granit Xhaka move to Arsenal all but set in stone...

With Arsenal's top-four position assured, it appears that Arsène Wenger has already turned his attention to the transfer window, with stories of a £30m transfer of Borussia Mönchengladbach defensive midfielder Granit Xhaka all but done. Said to be a taller, flintier, more-durable version of Jack Wilshere—think perhaps Bastian Schweinsteiger or Xabi Alonso, but younger and, you know, mobile—Xhaka is said to be keen on a move to the Prem. With just a point from our match against Aston Villa needed to qualify for the Champions League outright, could we see the confirmation of Xhaka to Arsenal within the week?

Losing my religion as the window slams shut...

By this point, we've learned that Christian Benteke is worth £32.5m, Roberto Firmino is worth £28.7m, Raheem Sterling is worth £43.75m, Kevin de Bruyne is worth £52.5m, and Anthony Martial is worth £36m. Each of these players is by turns full of potential and capable of a purple patch or two over the course of a season, but what does it tell us that "potential" is priced so high? These transfer fees used to be reserved for the likes of players who had already established themselves as world class. What am I or any of us to believe as we count down the waning hours of the summer transfer window? What price would we have to pay to actually upgrade our squad?

Ahead of the Champions League draw, the Chicken Littles are running amok.

We're off to such a slow start, apparently, that it's only a matter of time before the WOB emerges, pitchforks sharpened and torches lit. A shocking loss to West Ham looks now to be them trolling us, as they've followed with home-losses to Leicester and Bournemouth, and we couldn't find a way past Liverpool, drawing at the Emirates. Ignoring the facts that (a) Liverpool haven't conceded a goal yet and (b) put on a bus-parking display that made Mourinho envious exacerbates a feeling of futility, a gnawing sense all of that preseason optimism was hopeless naïve. The lack of transfer-dealings, save Čech, fuels that fear. With the days dwindling, maybe it's just about time to throw in the towel...

Arsenal make £15m bid for Juventus defender...

According to Forza, we've made an aggressive bid for Juventus centre-back Daniele Rugani only to have it rejected. The 20-year old spent the season on-loan to Empoli, playing all 3,420 minutes of the season without getting booked once. Rumours that Rugani might be brought in to mentor Flamini have been scuppered...for now. At first blush, it might seem odd that we'd pursue yet another centre-back when we have Koscielny, Mertesacker, and Gabriel, plus Debuchy and Chambers as makeshifts. Then again, Kos, Per, and Debuchy are getting long in the tooth, and at least a few of our signings have to be made with an eye to the longer term—that is, beyond the upcoming season.

Čech CONFIRMED as Arsenal ROCK Chelsea's title hopes

Petr Čech has been all but confirmed at Arsenal, with SkySports reporting that a £10.9m fee has been agreed, "sources say," which almost certainly refers to a reporter who interviewed this one guy who was talking to a taxi-driver whose brother's nephew once played for the Academy has this sister whose hairdresser's uncle was in a pub and overheard the words "Čech," "fee," and "agreed." On a more serious note, it looks to be a cash-only deal, meaning that we won't be parting with any players, homegrown or otherwise, to appease Mourinho. That's right. It appears that Arsène may have finally out-manoeuvred Mourinho, if only off the pitch. Whether that carries onto the pitch remains to be seen.

Arsenal to bid £28.7m for Aubameyang...

If nothing else, Arsenal are finally being linked with a striker. No, it's not Cavani or Higuaín or Benzema, but it is a striker who has scored at the Emirates: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. According to the German newspaper Bild, we've made a bid of some £28.7m for the French striker/winger. With Borussia Dortmund in a tailspin, we might have pinned a few hopes to Marco Reus, but I doubt that many of us would turn up our noses at Aubameyang, who did after all lead the club in goals (16) and assists (6). To be fair, Reus was hot on his heels despite making far-fewer appearances. Reus, however, is valued in the much-loftier realm of £50m and is already being wooed by Real Madrid. Aubameyang might not sound quite as sexy, but he might just fit our needs (and budget) far-better...

Real Madrid's rapaciousness is to Arsenal's advantage...again

While our attention has been occupied by the Petr Čech saga, there are doings a-transpiring further afield that could cause ripples far-more meaningful than what's happening a kilometres away. I'm speaking Real Madrid's insatiable quest for galácticos. Having finished behind Barça yet again, they've been heavily linked with David de Gea, Raheem Sterling, Paul Pogba, and Sergio Agüero, and I wouldn't be surprised to see them land at least two of those players for a combined sum of £80m, if not more. Now, even a club like Real Madrid has to at least pretend to abide by something resembling a facsimile of FFP. Much as they've in the past two summer, unloading Mesut Özil and Ángel di María, they might be forced to sell galácticos whose stars have apparently faded.

Arsenal AGREE £14m deal for Čech. Who's next?

Okay, so the title is a bit clickbait-ish. Nothing's official until it appears at the club's website, but the rumours are gathering strength. Most of the bookies have closed down betting on the move, with only skybet still taking bets, and that at 1/12. Rumours of a move to PSG seem to have been scotched, and so it seems that the want-way keeper could end up at Arsenal. We're likely see a surge in lurid headlines that feature words in all-capital letters like EXCLUSIVE and SHOCKING and so on (similar to my own, I must admit). Whether there's fire with all of that smoke remains to be seen.

£22m for Kondogbia, Vieira's heir-apparent? Bring it on!

Reports have Arsène meeting with officials from AS Monaco as an attempt at signing Geoffrey Kondogbia for £22m with plenty of circumstantial connections lending the rumour legitimacy. Arsène's own time at the club (1987-1994), our Champions League defeat at their hands, even the player's ostensible similarities to a certain Senegalese defender whose heir we've pined for lo these many years. French. Burly. Athletic. Shields the defense. Combative. More important than that, though, if it's true that he could be had for £22m, we should go for him.

Lebewohl, Lukas. Could Podolski's departure open the door to Draxler?

Amid reports that Lukas Podolski has been sold to Galatasaray for some £1.4m, potentially clearing his £100,000 weekly wage from Arsenal's books, minds wander to whom we might sign to shore up that left side, where we don't have many "true" options other than playing someone out of position (Aaron? Fancy a run-out on the left?), another German comes to mind, one we haven't flirted with since January 2014: Julian Draxler. The pacey left-winger might be available, with a release-clause of some £34m, not outrageous and well within our wheelhouse.

Should Arsenal sign Čech, if only to tweak Mourinho?

Let's be honest with ourselves, shall we? Ask yourself: how much of my interest in signing Petr Čech is strategic, and how much of it is borne out of pure spite? In other words, do we really need Čech for what he'd bring to the club, or are we only after him to wreak some kind of revenge on Mourinho? Don't get me wrong; each of those reasons is noble in its own right.
     "I make him better, Mourinho-dinck suffers?"
     "Humiliations galore."
     "That is a noble cause."
After all, our own Wojciech Szczęsny has failed to inspire much confidence, faltering to the point that the unproven but much-more stable David Ospina relegated him to the bench—much as Fabiański did a year ago—this time, though, Szczęsny couldn't or wouldn't reclaim his "rightful" place. Enter Čech...

Raheem Sterling, Wilfried Bony, and Arsène's sloppy seconds...

With only 78 days left before the transfer-window closes, one might be feeling a bit antsy about Arsenal's ambitions. At times like these it truly feels that Arsène is fiddling while the Emirates burns to the gronud. At other, more-sensible times, saner heads prevail and we realize that 78 days is quite a long time, time enough for a club like Arsenal to do a bit of shopping. I'm hardly suggesting that we dawdle and wait until deadline-day before making any inquiries, but there is a balance to be struck between appearing overly eager and twiddling one's thumbs. With an eye to recent windows, then, I wonder if we'll see Arsène pounce on a player after his club moves for someone else, much like he did when signing Mesut Özil as Real Madrid signed Bale and again when signing Alexis as Barça signed Suárez. With Raheem Sterling touted as the striker du jour, could we again see Arsène scoop up a player made available to finance Sterling's transfer?

The Silly Season heats up: does anyone know what they're saying?

With the silly season upon us, we will have to gird our loins and steel our nerves against an onslaught of stories, fueled by our own ambition and stoked even further by our FA Cup success and brush with second place. With no less an authority than 'Arry Redknapp attesting to our Prem title ambitions, the usual flurry of folderol has already started flying. Does anyone outside of the club actually know what they're talking about? Below, I present to you some statistical-ish breakdowns of the major rumour-mongers. Who's making a meal of it, and who's letting actions speak louder than words?

Arsenal to make £40m bid for Higuaín? It's...too...soon...

I'll admit it, I'm not sure I'm ready. Not for the advent of the silly season itself, but for this particular story. My feelings are still...too raw. I haven't fully processed them yet. Do you know what I mean? It feels like just yesterday that we were making googly eyes at Gonzalo as he flirted with it, gazing at us sympathetically with those soft, brown eyes, understanding us as we'd never been understood before and might never be understood ever again. We waited at the airport with a bouquet of flowers, our most-slimming dress and those heels that gave our derriere just the right amount of lift, when—without so much as a by-your-leave—he whisked himself away to Italy. Jilted and teary-eyed, we now have to face up to our own broken hearts as resurrected rumours have us offering £40m for El Pipita.

Arsenal poised to pounce on transfer-targets to make the most of FA Cup success...

At a risk of sounding ingrateful while the confetti's still getting swept up, we had better capitalise on having won the FA Cup again and finishing third in the Prem. With the first achievement, we've made history; with the second, we have to feel like something slipped through our fingers. Then again, a third-place finish should (and had better) pave the way for the club to sign the players we need in order to challenge Chelsea for the Prem title. In past seasons, we've been told by Arsène that we needed to qualify for the Champions League before signing players of a certain calibre. Whether this has been a fig-leaf for other fiduciary concerns is an open question. We know that we have needs to address if we're to be taken seriously as contenders for the Prem title.

Ramsey quashes rumors of a £50m Barça move

Despite the yoke of a transfer ban until 2016, Barcelona have been sniffing around like a stray dog in heat, apparently unsated by last summer's signing of Luis Suárez (and Neymar the summer before...) and the fact that they've already decimated La Liga to the tune of a +89 goal difference. Yes, Real are nipping at their heels, having finished just two points behind. We'll find out on Saturday if Barça will finish the season with yet another Champions League title. Their reported interest in Aaron Ramsey, though appears for now to have been quashed the Welsh Jesus.

£35m for Karim Benzema? Bosh! Flimshaw!

Yes, yes, I know. There is an FA Cup final to prepare for. However, even as Arsène denies that he is "not in transfer mode", we all know full-well that the wheeling and dealing behind closed doors and in smoky rooms proceeds in earnest. One of the hottest stories involves a French striker with whom we've been heavily linked in the past and who might be leaving a club that has been selling aggressively in the last few windows—Higuaín, Özil, Di María, Morata. Alonso, to name a few—Karim Benzema. With Carlo Ancelotti having been sacked on Monday, Real Madrid might be tempted to sell. However, is Benzema worth it? A £35m transfer-fee is likely the starting point for negotiations. Let's kick the tires and see what's what.