Rivals' Roundup: can we skip ahead to Conte's diatribe?

I'm seein' double here. Four Contes!

I'll admit that I had a hard time trudging through most of this, what with half of the top four fogging off to the FA Cup. Thankfully, there was enough to enjoy at our end in most of the results regardless of the competition to keep me interested if not engaged. This will be our last roundup for a few weeks as everyone jets off to international commitments of varying degrees of importance. Between now and the resumption of normal activities in two weeks, we get to enjoy an eight-point cushion over our nearest rivals, long may that last. Enough throat-clearing. Let's get to it.

Rivals' Roundup: and then there were two...

We've winnowed the wheat from the chaff, it seems will soon let the chips fall where they lay. If you've come here for consistency, away with thee. I shall mix my metaphors as I see fit. With just less than one-third of the season ahead and two-thirds behind us, it's almost time to say once and for all that this is now a two-horse race. It's the bout to knock the other guy out. Let's See Who's Bad at the Etihad. And so on. What I'm getting at is that there is now an eleven-point gap between second and third place, and while similar gaps have been traversed, it's looking less and less likely to happen here. Let's be honest: there are only two clubs that have shown enough consistency and ruthlessness to be in the conversation. Still, I've committed to a template, so I must soldier on.

Rivals' Roundup: We're through the looking-glass, people...

Another week, another win for the Arsenal. And for Man City. Man U, not so much. Well, they did win, but it was in the EFL Cup, which no one of any repute really takes seriously until after they've won it. Newcastle apparently felt bad enough about Liverpool's quagmire of a season that they generously shipped not one but two goals but still look tenacious enough to cling to a top-four spot, despite Tottenham's Conte-less rise. The less said about that the better for the digestive tracts of all concerned. Well, enough throat-clearing. Let's get right to it.

Rivals' Roundup: A funny thing happened on our way to relegation...

This was the wobble that we had all been waiting for. This was the week to end all weeks. A draw to Brentford sandwiched either side by losses to Everton (!) and Man City should have spelled our doom. The shoe had finally dropped, Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. It's all been a mirage anyway, and the sky is falling. The room is closing in. Arsenal will be fighting for a league title, all right, but it'll be a year from now, and it'll be for the Championship...wait a minute. It appears that no one got the memo, at least none who matter. Against all odds and any media narrative as well, Arsenal find themselves top of the league. With a game in hand. Let's not get too cocksure, though. Anything can happen. Let's round 'em up.