From Pulis to Pardew to this plonker, is Palace takin' the piss?

Arsenal have staggered towards the New Year with all of the aplomb and grace of a over-served reveler, losing twice by 2-1 scorelines before finally finding a way past West Brom's parked bus in the waning minutes—long gone, it seems, is the swagger that saw us go undefeated across 20 previous matches (sorry, League Cup; in fairness, though, I also overlooked two wins in the competition to prove my point). Then again, the Baggies' visit opened a string of fixtures from which we simply must and really should take all the points on offer. Enter Crystal Palace.

Open Letter to Crystal Palace: beggin' yer Pardew.

Let's face facts, shall we? You at Crystal Palace have done a job, and it's time to put it in neutral. No sense in exerting yourselves any further, now that you're assured a position in the Prem or another year. Villa's been relegated, and you're seven points clear of a squabble that will consume two of Newcastle, Sunderland, and Norwich. You're in the clear and have nothing to do but play out the season. We at Arsenal however are locked in a cataclysm of sorts. We're sandwiched between the Manchesters and can ill-afford any more dropped points.  What say you?

We've gone from Chamakh to Özil, but what do we have to show for it?

This is it. Just one game in, and Arsenal’s 2015-16 campaign already hangs by a thread. Every single one of our dreams of building on last season’s promises lies shattered into a billion tiny pieces—every. Single. One.

Okay, so I exaggerate a bit. Still, after how we opened against West Ham, there’s bound to be some trepidation about the trip to Selhurst Park. Let’s soothe those jangled nerves, shall we?

Gunners lucky to scrape out a win and climb to 3rd on the day

Phew. That one was about as unmpleasant a win as I've been around in a bit. Throughout the match, it seemed like only a matter of time before Zaha would (a) find his way past Monreal, (b) earn a penalty, or (c) get Monreal sent off, if not some combination of the aforementioned. Ironically, the first goal came after Clattenburg ignored a penalty-shout from Palace and on the ensuing counter, Welbeck was brought down by Soaré juuust inside the area, and Cazorla coolly converted the penalty to make it 1-0, very much against the run of play. Just before halftime, Giroud added a second during a scramble after Speroni spilled Welbeck's shot—our 13th goal scored in extra time to date. An 0-2 lead has rarely felt as fortunate as this one. However, it's three points banked on what's looking like a great weekend.

Chamakh and Sanogo, er, mostly Chamakh, lead the line...

Chamakh. Sanogo. Two one-time Gunners, two towering presences along the front line. One brings the hair; t’other, the chaos. Together, they could terrorize the Arsenal defense, and—oh. Sanogo can’t play against Arsenal?  More’s the pity. Then again, he’s hardly found time on the pitch, begging certain questions about the purpose of the loan. More to the point, though, Palace’s attack hardly depended on ol’ Yaya in the first place (or Chamakh, for that matter). So who are we up against?

An open letter to Newcastle ahead of Saturday's clash...

When the 2014-15 season began, we at Arsenal looked down our collective, perhaps Gallic noses at Newcastle, deeming the Magpies as unworthy of the gaze. Surely, we thought, we would have to focus our attention on the crème de la crème—Chelsea, Man City, Man U, perhaps Liverpool—but we assumed, as always, that a fourth place finish, if not higher, would be our birthright. The early returns suggested that it would these presumptions were prescient. Tottenham and Everton stumbled out of the gates. Liverpool and Man U staggered. Despite our own sluggish start, we at Arsenal could reassure ourselves that it would be only a matter of time before we set things right.