18 January 2023

Psst, Jonesie, be sure to book Casemiro & Fred today, eh?

Man U travel to Selhurst Park this afternoon looking for a a tenth straight across three competitions, and while they've feasted on some minnows here and there, none of us should overlook the significance of them defeating Man City at the weekend. After all, we just beat Tottenham, not Conte's "best team in the world right now." Ten Hag's men are flying high, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say it has a lot to do with Ronaldo's departure. He was a black hole into which all the scoring chances went as younger players deferred to his grandiosity. Without him, Man U are more-fluid and incisive then they've been in a while. From the looks of things, we may not be able to count on Crystal Palace to do us any favours, given their poor form of late.  Still, we may just have an ace in the hole...

Robert Jones, I'm looking to you to do the right thing. Assuming that Fred and Casemiro play, it's on your beefy shoulders to issue one or both of them a yellow card. I don't think you'll have to go out of your way or even conjure something up. Just...keep an eye on them, and don't be shy about brandishing that bright yellow card of yours when Fred tackles someone a little too clumsily or Casemiro remonstrates too energetically. They're both on four yellow cards, you see, and this is their last chance to pick up a fifth one before the end of the 19th match. They've been spoiling for it, if I'm being honest. Why, they've each picked up two yellow cards in their last three outings. If that doesn't tell you that they want to be suspended, well, I don't know how else to tell you. 

I'll admit that I was impressed at how well Fred man-marked de Bruyne, virtually negating his considerable influence and ability, and Fred and Casemiro did well to shield the defense against the onslaught that is Man City's 71% possession. I'm sure you see by now what I'm driving at here. In case you hadn't noticed, this is an Arsenal blog, and we host Man U on Sunday. We pretty confident, but all I'm saying is that I don't think any of us would mind a little leg up. 

Again, I'm not asking for anything underhanded. I see that you average 3.83 yellow cards per game, just a bit above the league-wide average 3.78, so it wouldn't be out of character for you to consider what's being asked and to find a way to make it work in a convincing fashion. 

I see you're a Merseyside lad but no one seems to know the club you support. Liverpool, maybe? I'll put it to you this way: Arsenal winning will make life harder not just for Man U but also for Man City. That Man U-Liverpool rivalry is one of the biggest in the Prem, and that Man City-Liverpool rivalry has dominated the Prem for the last five or six years. If the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then surely Liverpool and Arsenal are...well, well-wishers, meaning that we don't wish each other any specific harm. What do you say, Robbo? 


  1. Casemiro did get a yellow card

    1. I saw! D'you think Jones actually read this? (just taking the piss, Casemiro's tackle really left Jones with no option. Funny thing, though - I thought it would be Fred making the clumsy tackle. Fine. I'll take it!).

  2. Just curious to see what this looks like with my Twitter URL...


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