Dear Citizens—
I'm supposed to hate you, what with the Clichy and Nasri affairs, the relegation of Sagna to your bench, the financial doping, and the Prem titles, and so on, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Aside from Nasri (who was more than a bit cuntish even during his time with us, what with the scarves and the mittens and so on), I can't quite name a player in your squad who brings the bile to back of my throat as, well, biliously, as those Chelsea's squad, to name just one. This ain't quite the same as feeling respect, mind you, just the absence of disrespect.